Mighty Man Will Lanicek

Another trip around the sun is coming to an end. Tomorrow brings a new year and for many hope for things to be better than the last. You see 2020 wasn’t a bad year for us. A pandemic, a baby, a new job, a new house, and a cancer diagnosis. That’s our 2020 in a nutshell, but there is so much more.

Being pregnant during a pandemic had its perks. For starters when the world shut down I was just beginning to “get fat” (for you literal people I know I wasn’t fat, I was pregnant). I got to hide behind the computer camera the rest of my pregnancy and no one ever saw just how big I got. For me this was great, I didn’t so much care for being pregnant. It was weird, uncomfortable, and just not my thing. Don’t get me wrong I love the end product, but let’s just say I’m not going to volunteer to be your surrogate anytime soon.

In March Billy began building our new house on the property we bought a few years back. We were in no rush and he had literally built the place with his own two hands. He’s had help from a few of his friends along the way. I couldn’t be more proud to move into a place that Will gets to tell his friends his dad built for him. We had planned on moving in this month but of course, we had a little road bump, but it’s almost finished and we will be in soon.

In May we had Will, the absolute best thing that could ever happen to us. I was scared, excited, and truly terrified. I was worried about what kind of parents we would be. I was worried that I wouldn’t know what to do. We were blessed and my mom moved in to help us and relieve my anxiety. I remember coming home and telling my mom Will was going to sleep in his bassinet, be on a schedule, not be exposed to or watch tv, eat only organic formula and later foods, you know all the things. Well, I’m happy to report we have broken all those expectations I set for myself and Will.

Will cosleeps, I know it’s not a great idea, but when you’re kid has cancer you do not want to let them out of your sight. I wake up several times just to put my hands on his chest and make sure he’s breathing. I had anxiety before but now it’s in full force. Being a parent is scary, being a parent of a childhood cancer fighter is terrifying. On a Facebook post, I described being a cancer mom as a helicopter parent in a thunderstorm running low on fuel. You know with all the sirens going off and the helicopter spinning out of control but the pilot has the strength to get it back on course they just can’t quite figure it out yet. That’s being a cancer parent.

Skip back a bit, when Will was three weeks old I decided to apply for a new job and I’m so grateful I did. I hired on to the most amazing district in my dream position in June and began in July. I’ve learned so much and met the most phenomenal people in the short time I’ve been in this district. I know God placed me here and placed these people in my life because he knew how much I’d need them to lean on with what was coming in December.

Fast forward, through the fall Billy worked on the house, we watched and celebrated all of Will’s milestones, I frantically called a friend for reassurance when Will got a fever or something was abnormal, we both worked, all was great.

December. Exactly thirty-one days ago, Billy took Will to urgent care for what we thought was a stomach virus or I had made him sick by giving him a daily vitamin with elderberry. I can’t even remember why I thought he needed that, but I’m grateful I gave it to him and the events unfolded ending us up where we are.

Y’all know what happens next, our tiny human was diagnosed with cancer. It still makes me sick to my stomach to say or write the word. I now truly know what the term “gut-wrenching” means. In this last month, I’ve learned so much. I’ve been humbled through the process. I’ve reached out to God more times than I probably have in my lifetime combined. You see, most people would think having this diagnosis was the worst part of our year. I’d be lying if I told you differently. It sucked. I do not even remember the first few days. We were scared, heartbroken, and had no idea what we were being told.

It all happened so fast. The urgent care visit, the ER, then we were on the oncology floor signing all kinds of documents and being told all kinds of things. It was like in the movies where the character is there but you see they’re just blank while everything is spinning around them. During this time Will and in turn, we had the most amazing medical staff. That first day a nurse nealed down and placed her hand on my leg as she tried to tell me what was happening and what to expect next. She was one of the kindest humans I’ve ever encountered and I’m so very thankful for her. I make sure and tell her every time we see her. I’m not sure I could’ve made it through that first day without her and the other hospital staff that cared not only for Will but us.

Throughout the next few days, so many tears were shed. I remember at one point Will’s doctor came to talk to us and I couldn’t contain it anymore. I straight up ugly cried in front of the man and he grabbed the tissues. Throughout our first hospital stay, and the next, we had such supportive and caring staff attending to Will and checking on us. The therapy dog on the floor comes to visit each time we are there, I know it’s more for me than Will. She and her handler are truly a gift from God.

This diagnosis, though it may be the worst thing that happened to us, has brought us closer to God, it’s brought us joy in seeing the supernatural healing taking place in our little man, it has shown us we have the most amazing friends and family, and it has taught us so much along the way – most importantly that every moment counts.

For us 2020 was a good year, we had so many highlights. We grew together and spiritually, we overcame, and we persevered. We are ready to take on the New Year. We know HOPE, STRENGTH, and LOVE will power our new year as Will overcomes his diagnosis and becomes cancer-free.

2020 changed us, we will never be the same, but that’s not a bad thing. Thank you to those of you who have stuck by our sides, supported us, and rallied in prayer for Will. Thank you for checking on us when we didn’t even know we needed to be checked on. Thank you for the food, generosity, and love you have poured into us the last thirty-one days.

Cheers to the New Year! I hope this year brings you many blessings ❤️

Until next year,

Amanda