C A N C E R
These six little letters have forever changed our lives. I do not think we’ll ever be the parents we were before December 1st. Twenty days, that is how long it has been since our cancer journey began. On one hand, it seems so much longer, and then on the other, it seems like yesterday we were told our baby has cancer.
Everyone asks if we’re ok, the truth is no. I can’t speak for Billy but I can say I probably will never be ok. Those six little letters catapulted me into full-on helicopter mom status. I worry constantly about Will’s tumor, his medications, the side effects from the chemo, and then there are the general baby parent worries.
When this all began one of my closest friends told me of another cancer mom he worked with. Days into our diagnosis she reached out and added me to a Cancer Families of Fort Worth Facebook. I was hesitant. I didn’t want to be a part of this group. However, this weekend I finally introduced myself. I envisioned my introduction was something like how AA meetings are depicted in movies: “Hi, I am Amanda and my son has cancer.”
So many of the families responded to my post and I connected with two mom’s through this group. These are the nicest, strongest, most caring people I have ever met. They do not know me but offered up anything and everything to me because they once were where we are now. One of their children happens to have the same cancer as Will. She is 3 years old and now in remission. It was somewhat relieving to hear their stories and know their kids are ok.
The last 20 days have been overwhelming, humbling, and inspiring. I am grateful for everything everyone has done for us. The outpouring of love, prayer, and generosity is moving. Please know that I may only be able to respond with a simple thank you right now but we are beyond grateful for you. I am grateful for every text, comment, call, or message just checking in. It is uplifting to know we have so many people in our corner.
These next few days we will be at the hospital for Will’s second round of chemo. The anxiety of being in the hospital and Will getting chemo pumped through him is overwhelming. I am hopeful that this is going to be a good stay. Tomorrow Saturn and Jupiter will be closer than they have been in 400 years. This conjunction was said to occur when Jesus was born, the star of Bethlehem. With this “star” miracles happen. Our chemo was scheduled for Dec 18 but was moved to the 21st, I can only hope that the “stars” are aligning on the 21st and bringing us a miracle.
Pray for Will this week. Tomorrow pray for his second chemo treatment. Pray, he is receptive and the tumor continues to shrink. Pray the surgeon can remove the tumor soon and Will has complete healing.